Saturday, June 20, 2009

Vodka Short List

I've been doing a lot of traveling lately, and a lot of drinking always, so in an effort to help this blog live up to the more cultural and informative parts of it's billing, I've created a list of what I consider to be the ten best types of vodka. Since I can read your mind, I can tell that you're thinking: what can be that great about a liquor that is distilled to be tasteless and colorless? If you're asking this question, don't feel bad, it just means one of two things: either you're not that smart, or you don't drink that much, both of which are problems that this blog, and more specifically this blog post in particular, can remedy. You're also thinking: why the hell should I listen to your drinking advice, Avery? To which I respond: I've probably had a lot more vodka than you have, and in this case, experience equals knowledge. You may also be thinking that you can cut corners and get cheap vodka from the liquor section of the grocery store, which is not really true. Most vodka under $15 or $20 is pure fucking fire water and should not be consumed by anyone, ever. I've even included some parings to get you started on your way to being a two-fisting alcoholic. So without further ado:

10 Best Vodkas served in America

1.Ultimat: don't even bother mixing it, it's too good. Up, extra dry, with a few bleu cheese olives is one of the best martinis you will ever have. You may think that you don't like straight dry martinis, but you are wrong. You just haven't had a good one yet.
2.Snow Queen: good on its own merits, or in a mixed cocktail. Excellent compliment to delicate flavors like peach or orchid. The downside is that it's really hard to find anywhere besides the northeast.
3.Grey Goose: This is a smooth, good tasting vodka, that is overall very solid.
4.Reyka: Pretty smooth, with a great, tart flavor. Great compliment to flavors like pomegranate and cranberry.
5.Belvedere: a real solid, middle of the road vodka. It's number 5 for a reason, as it never fails as a reliable go-to.
6.Ketel One: Try it with club soda and a slice of lemon.
7.Stolichnaya: Cheaper than most, but still really good. Goes well with sweeter flavors like pineapple or orange.
8.Ciroc: Pretty good vodka – excellent flavors, but not the smoothest you can buy.
9.Finlandia: makes great mixed drinks. Try it in a pomegranate and blueberry martini.
10.Chopin: ehh. Somebody had to be number ten.

Disclaimers:
These brands listed represent their straight, unflavored versions only. Almost unanimously, the flavored versions of these vodkas are not as good: if you want a flavored vodka, your best bet is to infuse it yourself (more on this to come).

Although I fancy myself somewhat of an amateur vodka connoisseur, and I have consumed a good deal of vodka in my day, the vodkas listed represent only those I have tasted so far. There are plenty of good varieties (Cape North for example) that have such limited distribution that even I haven't gotten around to trying them yet.

There are also several vodkas that are very good, just not good enough to be top ten. Some examples:

Rain: very flavorful but a little harsh. Supposedly distilled using rain water or some shit like that. Pros: comes in a fun raindrop shaped bottle, can be bought for about $20. Cons: not that great. Makes a really good vodka lemonade though.

Pearl: a solid, middle of the road vodka. Pros: cheap ($18) and smooth. Cons: No flavor at all. Good for cocktails like bloody marys, where the flavor of the vodka is mostly overpowered by the mixer anyway.

Quadro: Pros: comes in a neat square bottle. Cons: mediocre, limited availability.

Svedka: Pros: great for when you're having a party, because it's pretty decent, and you can get a magnum bottle for like $35. Cons: doesn't taste that great. It would be stupid to make a martini with it.

Three Olives: Pros: if you must buy a flavored vodka, they have some of the best and most diverse flavors available, from pomegranate to root beer to vanilla. Cons: the way it is batched is weird, so in any given bottle there is probably vodka from a mix of batches, which means it doesn't ever have a very reliable flavor. It's also underproof, generally 35% ABV (70 proof) rather than 40% ABV (80 proof) of most other vodkas.

If you have any suggestions for additions, or other drinks I should try, feel free to let me know – i'll try just about anything once.

**Ed. Note: on the subject of drinking, my buddy and I discovered an excellent shot at a bar called Shade in the East Village. It's equal parts Walker Black and Baileys, and it's fucking special olympics (if the president can say it, so can I) in a double shot. You think they are pretty tasty and harmless, and all of a sudden you are shitfaced with a $60 bar tab on your hands. Beware.

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