Iowa

An Objective Analysis of Living in Iowa

Pros:

Dirt cheap housing. My roommate and I pay less than $1000 a month for a two bed flat. I know people who rent entire houses for less than $1500.

Cheap drinks. You probably couldn’t pay more than $12 for a drink if you tried.

No traffic. Rush hour lasts about 15-20 minutes

Easy to navigate. It’s impossible to get lost because there are no hills, mountains, or tall buildings, so you can almost always see where you want to be.

Corn. Yummy. Also makes gas super cheap because of all the ethanol. See below.

Cheap ass gas. This is possible because approximately ninety percent of the gas sold here is corn byproduct of some sort. See above.

Isn't in the south. This one is pretty self-explanatory.


Cons:

Terrible weather. For example, as I sit here writing, it’s just above freezing, and it’s raining and snowing at the same time.

Middle of nowhere. The neighboring states are Wisconsin, Minnesota, Nebraska, Missouri, Illinois, and a little bit of one of the Dakotas. Need I say more?

Flat. There are no distinctive geographic features. This also contributes to flooding. See below.

Always floods. See above.

Smells bad. I don’t really know why this is, but it’s a definite downfall.

Almost equidistant from each coast. Allow me to illustrate:



Little to no arts and culture. The theatre/museum/performance/gallery scene is pretty shabby.

I guess that about sums it up. I invite you to draw your own conclusions.